Lunacy
by 2BfrankIMAhotdog
Summary: I had some trouble deciding whether this would count as romance or not... Anyways, Saix is having trouble sleeping, so he goes to talk to Xemnas. It's not what you think...


**Lunacy**

**In which Xemnas begins a new hobby that disturbs everyone else.**

**I do not own Kingdom Hearts, ACDC, or the Beach Boys.**

**Enjoy.  
**

* * *

The skies were clear as Saix stalked up to the Altar of Naught, The Superior's lamentations echoing from far away. There were no matters that needed attending to, nor any burning questions that he needed answered- in fact, curiosity and urgency were among the first emotions Saix had forgotten. He had no questions for his master.

Yet there was a simple matter that drew him up the stairs, pulling him like the moon pulled on the oceans, drawing him upward. One simple desire.

Sleep.

For the past- week, was it?- Xemnas had taken to talking to their creation, almost as though he was seeking guidance. At times, the silver-haired Nobody acted as though it actually responded to him, like that inane "magic 8 ball" Saix had confiscated from Xion after her last mission to Twilight Town.

This would all be fine, except for the fact that he held his private "meetings" when the rest of the castle was trying to sleep. This would also be acceptable, if it weren't for his naturally strong, powerful, (or as Saix had overheard Demyx, "over-dramatic") voice. Of course, their leader could be as loud as he wanted, if the structure of the castle itself didn't convey sound so well. With his booming voice ululating down through the halls, the Luna Diviner was sure that the Organization's focus was diminishing with each passing night, as surely as Kingdom Hearts was growing.

Naturally, they all had their methods of combating his speeches, even as those irritatingly muffled words filtered through. Saix remembered irritation; he remembered it quite well.

Xigbar's approach was one of the most natural, if also one of the most counterproductive: he had a pair of headphones. Long before Xemnas had taken a liking to soliloquies, Xigbar had taken a liking to to hardest rock in the world. Saix would know: he could _hear_ it.

It had started out as a whisper on the edge of his extremely keen hearing. He wouldn't have minded it if there had been some variety, but all the Freeshooter seemed to listen to was Blood, Guns, Death, and a little Surfing, which usually made Saix wish it had been Blood, Guns, or Death instead. Some nights, the music was louder than normal. Now, it was practically screaming, valiantly struggling against the Superior's speech. Judging by the mellow rhythm, it was another of the _Beach Bum's_ greatest hits...

_I wish they all could be California  
I wish they all could be California  
I wish they all could be California girls..._

Saix cringed and focused his attention ahead. Below him, he could hear the sound of a thousand screaming fans. Xaldin. Apparently, the tornado whirling about his room calmed him, despite the fact that he now took even longer than usual to do his hair in the mornings, and even then, he looked as though he had been in the middle of a million whirling wyvern heartless, his hair refusing to cooperate, incredibly enough.

Saix had respected the Whirlwind Lancer's initiative after the first night, when he had snuck into an unexplored world apparently called Tomorrowland. That was where his respect ended, however: upon infiltrating the world, the man had dropped all semblance of stealth and walked into a local market, asking if any shops had fans in stock, and the rest was just details.

It was just as bad as Xigbar's music, but both paled in comparison to Demyx.

Saix had told him to soundproof his quarters.

It hadn't helped.

Vexen resorted to experimenting long into the night, cackling loud enough to stave off the proclamations. Zexion used his illusions to block out the noise, which somehow dumped his portion of suffering on everyone else. Lexaeus meditated, which somehow translated to creating huge pillars of rock, and then breaking them. Luxord wandered the halls, waking those lucky enough to fall asleep out of exhaustion to bet on what unholy hour Xemnas would stop.

On more than one occasion, he had "accidentally" opened Saix's door.

Marluxia tended his garden, assuming that he wasn't going to fall asleep anytime soon anyways. Somehow, he saw it fit to cackle just as maniacally as Vexen. Saix was sure he did this to keep him from forgetting irritation. He was also sure he wouldn't forget _anger_ any time soon, either...

Larxene threw tantrums. And thunderbolts. Occasionally, these tantrums backfired spectacularly; at least twice, she had exited her room looking as though a small bomb had gone off in front of her face. Most mornings, she looked as windswept as Xaldin, whatever that meant.

Axel was unpredictable: so far, he had spent one night drilling holes in Saix's walls so he could "better appreciate their master's speeches"; joined Demyx and apparently formed a two-man-band; persuaded Zexion to shield Roxas and Xion's ears as well, inexplicably dumping another portion of punishment on the rest of them; visited with Marluxia and Vexen, respectively, offering nothing to their pursuits besides additional mindless cackling; took "meditation lessons" from Lexaeus; and introduced Xigbar to a group called "_A-C-D-C_." Saix would have strangled him the first night, but then he wouldn't have any excuse _not_ to let the little fake, Xion, become a member.

Xemnas's proclamations rolled down the stairs, echoing too much to make out clearly. Saix had it all planned out: he would explain how well the acoustics of the castle functioned, and then go on to explain the effect the nightly speeches were having on the group's efficiency. Even if Xemnas didn't care, he would know. And to Saix, that would be enough._  
_

He started up the stairs, confident, assured, positive that if he had a heart it would be telling him to do this. He kept his eyes forward, not looking up or down. He came to the top of the stairs... and stopped. His eyes widened at the sight.

Although his curiosity was soundly stifled, Saix sometimes wondered what Kingdom Hearts would look like when it was complete. Now, he wasn't exactly sure he wanted to find out.

He had never seen what exactly Xemans wore under his cloak. He had never been particularly interested, either. But somehow, Xemnas was levitating _against_ Kingdom Hearts, his cloak flapping wildly in the breeze, the false moon throbbing red-

"YES! _YES_! KINGDOM HEARTS! GIVE ME _POWER! MORE POWER_!" He was absolutely mad, alternating between bouts of ecstatic laughter and uncomfortably enthusiastic dialogue.

Saix considered interrupting, but this consideration died in the face of the Superior screaming "SUBMIT! SUBMIT!" In fact, it died so fast, it was as if it had never been considered in the first place. Nodding self-assuredly and fighting off what he used to call "the willies", Saix sprinted down the stairs, wondering if the dungeons were deep enough to escape that horrible, horrible noise.

He had no idea, but he knew one thing for sure: he would not be sleeping for a long, _long_ time.


End file.
